Image from the knot {Jim Hjelm Dress}
Lily’s Question: My future mother-in-law said that she picked out the perfect dress for our wedding in June of 2010. She sent it to me in an attachment online and it was a white, lacy dress. I thought it was a joke at first and realized that it wasn’t when she told my fiancé about it. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want her to wear a white dress to the wedding, but I don’t know if I should say anything.
April’s Answer: Say something. Or have your fiancé say something if you think it’s more appropriate. Others may disagree with me, but I 100% believe that no one should wear a white dress to a wedding besides the beautiful bride. You should not have to be stressed out about the dress your future mother-in-law is going to wear on your big day and hopefully your fiancé will agree and talk to his mom about this. If he won’t do it or doesn’t understand why it’s a big deal, you should gently bring up the topic and tell her how you feel. You could suggest accompanying her on a shopping trip for her dress and help her pick out dresses you would be more comfortable with.
Does anybody else have any advice?
One Comment, Comment or Ping
I think it’s wildly inappropriate for your future MIL to wear a white dress. It’s well-known that no wedding guest should ever wear a white or cream outfit. It’s just a social no-no.
I think your fiance is the one who has to have this conversation with his mother, not you. How he handles situations like this sets the tone for the couple/parents relationship. By deciding to marry you, your fiance has indicated that you are the person who takes priority in his life. This is an important issue for you; as such, he should support you by having a conversation with his mother. If he’s not willing to, I think there are bigger issues than your MIL wearing a white dress to your wedding. It could mean that he can’t be an adult and assert himself to his mother. It could be that he needs to rethink his priorities – your feelings should be more important to him in this issue than his mother’s.
So, in conclusion, I would absolutely not recommend talking to your MIL about this issue. This is a job for your fiance. It establishes boundaries with his parents that are necessary for your marriage, and it solidifies your position as the most important woman in his life. Anything else, in my opinion, is unacceptable.
September 3rd, 2009
Reply to “Tip of the Day – Future Mother In Law Drama”